From an early age we have learned to deal with sad, negative emotions incorrectly, and we end up storing this energy inside. An example of this would be a child coming home from school feeling sad about an argument with a friend and they’re given a biscuit by their mother ‘to feel better.’ In that moment, they’ve been given a message that feelings can be fixed with food. The feelings are now buried under the biscuit and the distraction. In times of crisis, we turn to our old and learned ideas to deal with them. 
Eating too much during lockdown
Families are experiencing more emotional outbursts from children of all ages in Lockdown. If you want to take the intensity out of them, or try to limit them as much as possible, firstly you need to understand why they might be happening, and secondly read on to find out what you can do about them. 
 
Tantrums are a short-term energy releasing behaviour. Think of it as a boiling kettle letting off steam. The feeling of frustration and the inability to communicate their feelings – either because they don’t understand what they’re feeling but know they’re feeling something, or because they’re not being heard – must come out somewhere. 
What to do when your kids are clingy
 
After a year of loss for many, we wanted to give you some tips on helping your friends who have lost a loved one, who might be spending their first Christmas alone, or have an empty chair around their Christmas table. 
One of the most painful of experiences when you’re grieving is having a disturbing image of your loved one’s final hours, days, or weeks etched on your mind that you keep flashing back to. 
 
If your relative or friend died from COVID-19, our hearts go out to you. You may have seen your relative in hospital via a video call from their hospital bed. Your last image may have been seeing them in the back of an ambulance with an oxygen mask on. Your mind may have made up its own image if you weren’t able to see them. 
Stuck on a painful lasting image
Whether it’s your first Christmas without a certain person or your fifth, whether you’ve experienced a significant loss in the past year or are sad to be spending the holidays alone – so many of us struggle at this time of year because our memories turn painful, certain songs or decorations trigger emotional reactions or we’re heartbroken that our relationships are not the way we wish they could be. 
 
Many of us find it difficult to enjoy the Christmas and New Year. What makes things all the more challenging is that we're expected to be in good spirits all of the time and that we see everyone else enjoying their Christmas holidays and thinking we should be able to do the same. 
Christmas when you're grieving
Men hear a lot of messages as they grow up that can inhibit their ability to grieve. Unhelpful phrases including, ‘man up,’ and ‘crying is for wimps/girls.’ Men have been told for generations that they’ve got to be strong. 
 
We want to enlighten you. 
Men and Grief
Our hearts go out to the families and friends who have not been able to share last moments with their loved ones during the global pandemic and haven’t been able to say goodbye, or have had to say goodbye virtually. 
 
You may feel guilt that your loved one has died alone, even though it’s out of your control. And then the funeral. Friends and relatives have had the ritual of saying goodbye taken away from them; something that is part of the normal grieving process. 
2020 A year of loss
Today, we would like to remember the Service families and the sacrifices they make. As part of standing with those in Service they inevitably experience feelings of grief, the conflicted feelings caused by the end of, or change, in a familiar pattern of behaviour. 
 
These families endure periods of separation from their loved ones, experience the loss of friends or deaths of service members from their units, and can experience the loss of their loved ones. If there are younger children involved, there can be an added complication of explaining their parent is never coming home. 
Lest we forget
As COVID-19 rattles on, we continue living our lives with a degree of uncertainty and not knowing how long it's going to go on for. This year you may have faced uncertainty over your job, finances, health, relationships, going on holiday, seeing family and friends, and now a new uncertainty over how we’re going to celebrate Christmas. 
 
Many of us aren’t equipped with the skills to manage uncertainty, especially over a sustained period. We have an inbuilt need for security. Uncertainty can leave us feeling out of control, anxious, directionless, drained, and wondering what tomorrow might bring. 
 
Uncertain times
If you've been following the news this year, you will have heard about Jack's Law, which came into force in April 2020 and mandates a minimum of two weeks paid leave after the death of a child or stillbirth.  
 
The law is the result of ten years of campaigning by Lucy Herd, who tragically lost her one-year-old son Jack in a drowning accident in 2010. (You can read more about Jack's Law here.) 
Lucy Herd Jack's Law
Our site uses cookies. For more information, see our cookie policy. Accept cookies and close
Reject cookies Manage settings