Do you have a grieving friend, but you don’t know what to say or do? A typical nervous reaction is to ask if they are ok. Relentlessly. And of course, they are not. As a friend, you can end up in a ‘no man’s land’ of wanting to help, show support, and that you care, but you don’t know how. And then you’re worried about disturbing their mourning. 
How to support a friend after loss
Why the people you expect to support you after loss can disappear 
 
If you’ve been unfortunate enough to go through a significant loss, you may have found that the loss continued in the form of friends who didn’t show up. 
 
This is something that we hear from grievers on a regular basis. While we’re not here to make excuses for them, we can give you some plausible explanations. 
 
The Kiss of Death on a Friendship
As the first wave of COVID-19 victims’ families reach the six-month milestone, and the pain of loss isn’t getting any easier, we wanted to give you some hope. And it has nothing to do with time being a great healer. All time does is pass. 
 
There will inevitably be anniversaries, and no day will pass without a thought crossing your mind about your loved one. As you reach six months without them, anniversaries, birthdays, the anniversary of their death, and other occasions without them will no doubt trigger those feelings of loss and often the raw, overwhelming, consuming pain all over again. 
Covid 19 pain
Teaching children from an early age to deal with what life throws at them will only help their future emotional wellbeing. The first of six values in our Open Ears programme looks at being present. Being present helps children to develop good listening skills, including listening to themselves. Being present also helps them to reduce their stress levels, feel calmer and more centred, relaxed and more positive. 
Grieving the Living: Alzheimer's
Taking place 9th-15th October every year, Baby Loss Awareness Week aims to raise awareness about pregnancy and baby loss in the UK. Stigma and silence often mean families feel isolated in their grief. COVID-19 has made this worse. 
 
Today, guest blogger and Grief Recovery Specialist Detola Amure shares her story. 
Detola Amure Advanced Grief Recovery Specialist
This is a time for compassion and empathy. As we go back into local lockdowns and the rate of infection increases, anxiety is also rising. Getting through the day can be hard enough for some. 
 
We are calling on you to take notice, listen, and comfort others without trying to fix, analyse or explain, or change the topic back to yourself. 
How to actively listen
To mark World Alzheimer’s Month, we’d like to acknowledge everyone who is living or has lived through their loved one’s decline from this disease. Our hearts go out to you. 
 
From the early signs, when you barely notice anything is wrong, to witnessing confusion, to the point where your loved one barely recognises you - all come with a layer of heartbreak and feelings of loss. Each appointment that brings another reminder of gradual decline can hit you like a tonne of bricks. 
Grieving the Living: Alzheimer's
“If only I could tell them I love them one more time.” 
“If only I could touch them again.” 
“If only we could have one more day together.” 
 
Wishes like these are incredibly common for grievers and are not only heard after a death, but also after a breakup, divorce, or a loved one moving far away. They may seem like factual statements, but they’re actually emotional statements that reflect the pain of longing. Two partners in a long-distance relationship, for example, may experience longing even though they can routinely talk on the phone. A mother may yearn for her child after she leaves for university. We may even have dreams where we reach out for our loved one and are never quite able to grasp them. 
Yearning for partner
“Emotional baggage” is a popular term implying that someone has done a poor job of moving on from past painful relationships. Unfortunately, it is often blamed for many breakups. 
 
As much as we like to accuse others of having too much emotional baggage, the truth is that all of us have it. 
Emotional baggage ruined relationship
How many times have you heard one of the following? 
 
“It’s really time you should move on, get on with your life.” 
“You should really go out and meet people.” 
“Don’t worry, there are plenty of other fish in the sea.” 
“What’s in the past is in the past. Stop dwelling on it.” 
 
Even though this is well-intentioned advice, it’s rarely very helpful – if we could move on, most of us would have done it long ago! 
How to get over your ex
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