Life After a Suicide - A message of hope
Posted on 9th September 2019 at 13:19
Mandy Baxter, Grief Recovery Specialist tells her story to Carole Henderson
There were no warning signs
December 5th, 2017 was a normal evening in the Baxter household. Well that's what Mandy, wife to Vince and mum to 3 children thought, oblivious as to what was to come the next day. The following day when Vince didn't come home from work she had the first inkling that something was wrong. Tragically Vince, her husband of almost 30 years, soulmate and best friend had taken his own life and her world was torn apart. The shock and disbelief was massive, yet very quickly Mandy realised she needed help - she had no idea how to begin to support their children. Being a woman of action, she began to research.
She spoke to the Samaritans and described a wonderfully supportive conversation. She also contacted a national bereavement service - while they too were supportive, they also explained that it was their policy not to offer support immediately. Astonished and still in desperate need, she looked for books to help and stumbled across the Grief Recovery Handbook.
It was while waiting for the book to arrive that Mandy found this website and encouraged by the message under the phone number "Why wait?" she called this office. By now it was Christmas so at the time she called she got a voicemail message. Luckily the next day was a working day and the office was open so Carole responded to her message for help and was able to reassure Mandy that she didn't have to wait to feel better. There was a Grief Recovery Specialist in her area, a lady called Catherine Best, who would be able to help her almost immediately.
Sure enough Catherine was able to meet her very quickly and explained that it is never too soon to begin the healing process. Also that as they say on a plane "fit your own oxygen mask before aiding your children" so she encouraged Mandy to help herself in order that she would be in better shape to support her children. They began working together, with Catherine leading her through the actions of the Grief Recovery Method over seven sessions of about one hour each.
Ready to go back to work - after seven sessions
At the end of the seven sessions Mandy felt ready to go back to work, and also inspired by the huge difference the work had made to her. So much so that she enrolled on the next Grief Recovery Certification Training and qualified as a Grief Recovery Specialist in order to be able to help others. In the video she describes how the book and her training has changed so much - not only for her, but for her family, too. It has meant that once again she is able to smile and enjoy life. It wasn't the life she ordered or would have chosen but it is her new normal which contains joy and happiness and the ability to talk about Vince without the knife twist of agony in her heart. In other words, she can enjoy her memories as well as live her life.
Mandy is based in Poulton le Fylde, Lancashire. If you'd like to find out more about doing Grief Recovery with Mandy you can reach her on 07368 242939 or find your nearest Grief Recovery Specialist here.
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