Lockdown has brought about a sudden and unexpected loss of income for thousands. Even those who have been put on the furlough scheme are still not in receipt of their full monthly income. Then there are those who have been excluded from government schemes, such as the newly self-employed, company directors, and freelance workers. Some have taken pay cuts, and others have lost their jobs altogether. 
This level of loss can be devastating. It’s the loss of your financial security, loss of perhaps being able to buy food, and could mean the loss of your home. There are no ceremonies around the loss of finances and the dreams that went with them. We are left feeling unfinished and lost. 
Loss of financial security in Lockdown

Invisible losses - Multiple losses 

You may find it hard to talk about your feelings around the loss of your finances. This kind of grief has some added complications: 
Embarrassment - it’s one thing to tell someone that your mother died, but a completely different thing to talk about losing your income. We don’t usually share our money issues; it’s just not one of our cultural norms 
Loss of identity - you used to be a business owner with money in the bank and children in private school. Now you’re an unemployed dad who has lost the house and has had to move your family in with your parents and you're not sure who you are anymore 
Loss of sense of purpose – you’ve lost your routine and your role in life 
Betrayal - you might feel betrayed by your employer or the government. Dealing with a loss is difficult enough without the added emotional fallout from feeling betrayed by banks, mortgage lenders, the government. You may not only be dealing with grief, but anger and resentment as well 

Help with your feelings 

Don’t minimise your feelings. What you are feeling is perfectly normal for you. It’s easy to think, “I shouldn’t be feeling so angry/sad/upset, at least I’m healthy, or my family haven’t had to deal with losing someone from COVID-19.” When you do this, you detract from your own feelings because it’s “not as bad” as something else. 
Don’t fall into the trap of blaming yourself. This crisis has affected everyone, many of whom did everything they could have done to plan and save for the future. It has devastated millions - you are not to blame. 
Take time out to breathe. Stand outside, close your eyes, and listen for five minutes. Don’t think of anything, just focus on what you can hear. This will help you to feel a sense of calm. 
You don’t need to be strong; you need to be heard. Tell someone you trust what’s going on and how you’re really feeling. Talk to someone who will listen without interruption or judgement. 
Feel the emotions you are feeling. If you feel like crying, then cry. If you feel better writing things down, write them down. 

How we can help 

Grief UK is an education and training organisation that teaches The Grief Recovery Method, the only evidence-based grief programme globally that gives people the tools and skills to learn how to move beyond death, divorce, and other losses. 
Our eight-part programme is now available for hour-long, one-to-one sessions via Zoom with our Advanced Certified Grief Recovery Specialists, who can be found here
Once restrictions are lifted, we have specialists around the country who can offer face-to-face support for one-to-one and group sessions. 
About the Author 
Maria Bailey
Maria Bailey is an Advanced Grief Recovery Specialist and looks after media relations for Grief Recovery UK. She has spent her career working in public relations. Maria now lives by the seaside in Devon with her family and dog, and is a school governor and preschool chairman. 

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