Men, Grief and Sudden Loss
Posted on 27th November 2020 at 14:06
Men hear a lot of messages as they grow up that can inhibit their ability to grieve. Unhelpful phrases including, ‘man up,’ and ‘crying is for wimps/girls.’ Men have been told for generations that they’ve got to be strong.
We want to enlighten you.
Grief is a normal reaction to loss
Grief is the normal and natural reaction to loss, of any kind. We grieve any time there is an end or change in any familiar pattern of behaviour in our lives. In short, we experience grief for lots of things, from bereavement to redundancy. Experiencing grief is part of what makes us human. As humans, we are supposed to feel positive and negative emotions and process them in a healthy way. We are taught how to acquire things but most of us are never taught how to grieve.
The unexpected death of a loved one in whatever form it takes comes as a huge shock. Death is never a singular event. Along with the physical death of the person is the loss of all the hopes, dreams, and expectations about the future. There is the inability to say goodbye. You might have things you wish you had said, and maybe things that you wished you hadn’t. But now that person is gone, and your life has changed forever. And you’ve got to get used to the idea that the physical presence of that person has gone, too.
Grief is normal - and you can recover
There is nothing wrong with grieving, but you don’t need to live the rest of your life in pain and torment and you can get to work on healing from your pain as soon as you feel ready to. We believe that recovering from loss and adapting to a new reality are separate but equal. Both are normal and natural reactions to loss. While most people make the transition to the new reality in their own way and at their own pace, we know that better information about the emotional element of recovering from loss helps speed up the ability to recover from the pain.
Hear us #ShareYourStory
We don't just talk the talk, we walk the walk - listen as three of our Grief Recovery Specialists share their stories using our Bereavement Box of Hearts. We hope it inspires you to speak with others and begin conversations with your friends and family.
What kind of things do you wish you had said before they died?
Describe your favourite photograph together.
Tell me about a time (name) made you laugh.
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