Posts from November 2020

Men hear a lot of messages as they grow up that can inhibit their ability to grieve. Unhelpful phrases including, ‘man up,’ and ‘crying is for wimps/girls.’ Men have been told for generations that they’ve got to be strong. 
 
We want to enlighten you. 
Men and Grief
Our hearts go out to the families and friends who have not been able to share last moments with their loved ones during the global pandemic and haven’t been able to say goodbye, or have had to say goodbye virtually. 
 
You may feel guilt that your loved one has died alone, even though it’s out of your control. And then the funeral. Friends and relatives have had the ritual of saying goodbye taken away from them; something that is part of the normal grieving process. 
2020 A year of loss
Today, we would like to remember the Service families and the sacrifices they make. As part of standing with those in Service they inevitably experience feelings of grief, the conflicted feelings caused by the end of, or change, in a familiar pattern of behaviour. 
 
These families endure periods of separation from their loved ones, experience the loss of friends or deaths of service members from their units, and can experience the loss of their loved ones. If there are younger children involved, there can be an added complication of explaining their parent is never coming home. 
Lest we forget
As COVID-19 rattles on, we continue living our lives with a degree of uncertainty and not knowing how long it's going to go on for. This year you may have faced uncertainty over your job, finances, health, relationships, going on holiday, seeing family and friends, and now a new uncertainty over how we’re going to celebrate Christmas. 
 
Many of us aren’t equipped with the skills to manage uncertainty, especially over a sustained period. We have an inbuilt need for security. Uncertainty can leave us feeling out of control, anxious, directionless, drained, and wondering what tomorrow might bring. 
 
Uncertain times
If you've been following the news this year, you will have heard about Jack's Law, which came into force in April 2020 and mandates a minimum of two weeks paid leave after the death of a child or stillbirth.  
 
The law is the result of ten years of campaigning by Lucy Herd, who tragically lost her one-year-old son Jack in a drowning accident in 2010. (You can read more about Jack's Law here.) 
Lucy Herd Jack's Law
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