Today we’re starting the journey of taking you through our Leaving Lockdown 5-Point Plan, starting with Acknowledge Everything. Has your standard response to ‘how are you feeling’ become ‘I’m fine’ when people ask, but underneath you’re thinking, ‘I’m anything but fine’? The likelihood is that you’re going through a whole raft of emotions right now, which change throughout the course of the day. There will be good days and bad days. 
Living Through Lockdown: Acknowledge everything
The third step on our 5-point plan for leaving lockdown is being emotionally honest. (Take a look at Step 1: Acknowledge everything and Step 2: Be present if you missed them.) 
 
A quote used in the Grief Recovery Training is “Love is the product of truthful communication,” and whether we’re talking romantic love or any relationship, when we’re emotionally honest everything works better. For example, “I have a lot to do, I would really appreciate you taking the rubbish out,” is less likely to cause an argument than “Why do you never take the rubbish out?” 
 
The first is what you’re feeling is on the matter, the latter is a criticism. If you try to stick to what’s true for you and express it, you are more likely to be heard. 
Be emotionally honest
‘Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, which is why it’s called the present.’ 
 
We all spend so much of our lives time travelling, we barely notice it. Travelling into the past with our thoughts to find things to beat ourselves up with, then projecting ourselves into the future to worry, creating stress, anxiety and pain, much of which could be avoided if we simply stayed in the present
 
In fact, it's so important that we've included it on our 5-point plan for leaving lockdown. (If you missed Step 1, Acknowledge everything, click here.
Living Through Lockdown: Be present
As we have all witnessed, COVID-19 doesn’t discriminate. Many of us have been touched directly or indirectly by this awful virus. We have seen with our own Prime Minister that this virus can strike anyone. Today’s post is about the process of getting your relationships in as good a place as possible, so that whatever happens, you feel at peace with your loved ones. 
 
We’ve come up with a 5-point plan that you can apply to any of your relationships: 
 
 
We will go through each point in detail, so you can apply the points to your relationships. 
Living Through Lockdown
If you work with children in an educational setting, hospital, professional practice or elsewhere, you may have heard about Adverse Childhood Events, or ACEs. 
 
Adverse Childhood Events can include traumatic events, parental separation, violence, family substance misuse, family mental health problems and other events that impact young people between 0 and 17 years of age. ACEs are common, and those who have experienced 4 or more have a much higher likelihood of exhibiting developmental disruptions, social, emotional and learning problems and poor health and wellbeing outcomes later on in life. 
ACES and Helping Children with Loss
For nearly 40 years the Grief Recovery Method has helped people all over the world move beyond bereavement, divorce and other losses. As a result of the work of over 10,000 Grief Recovery Specialists our programmes have received many thousands of thank you notes, reviews, testimonials and feedback surveys speaking of the huge difference this structured, heart-led approach has made. 
 
In Spring 2019 we reached a new milestone when the peer reviewed "American Journal of Health Education" (Volume 50 issue 2 to be precise" published research carried out by Dr Nolan and Dr Hallam of Kent University Ohio confirmed that the Grief Recovery Method made a measurable postivie impact on the grief journey of the participant. 
Evidence base Grief Recovery
Grief Recovery Method
For those of us who have participated in a Grief Recovery Method programme and have seen the results first hand, there is no doubt that its action steps are effective. 
 
Now, however, there is scientific research to support its effectiveness with grievers. 
 
In the first known university study to examine different approaches available to those who are suffering from a loss, the Grief Recovery Method has been shown to make a true & measurable difference. 
To say that people are uncomfortable with emotions such as sadness, rage or fear – especially after a personal loss – is an understatement. 
 
Sit back for a moment and think about the times in your life when you were feeling sad and tried to talk about those feelings with others. On a few occasions your friend or family member may have simply listened without analysis, criticism or judgement. More often than not, however, you may have received one of the following responses:- 
How to Listen to a Griever
Losing a pet can be one of the most heart-breaking experiences in a person’s life. The bond between a human being and an animal can be deeper and more loving than some could ever imagine. Often a pet is the most trusted companion in a person’s life, providing unconditional love and loyalty in even the most difficult of circumstances. 
 
When a pet dies or runs away, an owner may lose someone who has always been by their side. The loss can significantly affect their ability to concentrate and function, just like a loss of any other kind. 
Coping with the loss of a pet
I remember vividly within days of my husband Kevin dying being asked about his stuff. Honestly! You would imagine that there would be a whole host of other topics people would ask about before this, but no. Everyone wanted to know "have you done anything about the clothes yet?" 
 
If you are reading this and grieving yourself I bet you will have immediately noticed that these possessions which sat next to his skin have been de-personalised. THE clothes, not his clothes. "The Clothes", as if they are wild animals which left untamed & uncaptured will riot around the house (i.e. your life) out of control. 
What to do with the clothes when someone dies
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