Posts tagged “bereavement”

There are over 40 life losses that can result in the symptoms of grief, including a loss of feeling safe, which might apply to staff returning to work. 
 
If you’re a business owner, manager, or HR professional, you may find some staff are reluctant to return to the office after working from home. 
 
When employers understand and acknowledge the impact grief can have on their teams, employee mood, satisfaction, productivity and retention improve. 
Listening to someone who is heartbroken can feel uncomfortable.  
 
We’re used to people being happy and positive but when it comes to sadness, it can feel awkward and our ‘go to’ place is to try and make them feel better as quickly as possible.  
 
Fear of how to approach grievers and assist them stops many well-meaning people from being there for these people when they are most needed. 
In the 1990s, a book was released called 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus', which explored the differences of behaviour in men and women.  
 
From our work, it seems the same is apparent when men and women grieve. Men seem to hold onto or hide their emotions, whereas women are more open in expressing their feelings. 
 
We’ve noticed men often don't get as much support from friends, family, and society in general. 
This is a hard blog to write – I’ve known I needed to write this for ages and normally when I sit with something the words start to come together in my head but interestingly my thoughts about this man who used few words seems to be well, coming up with few words! 
 
It was 2007, not that many months after my husband Kevin had died aged just 41 and life as I knew it ended forever, when I found myself on Amazon (other booksellers are available.) I was looking for a book that would help me deal with the overwhelming feelings that were dominating my life. One review said “well this book is ok but... 
Carole was a guest of Tara Nash, creator of the Conscious Grief series. 
 
In the video, Carole talks about how the Grief Recovery Method helped her and others move forwards to find joy again after significant emotional loss. 
 
You can use the time stamps below to move to any of the questions Carole addressed.  
Are you prepared for returning to your workplace after loss during the pandemic? 
 
If you’ve lost a relative during Lockdown and you’re experiencing grief, it would be useful to mention this to your employer before you head back to work.  
 
This will help your employer to prepare for your return and help them to understand that you may need additional support and understanding. 
Every loss is unique, as is every person who has suffered loss. But those who have been bereaved by suicide know that there are aspects of this type of loss that are particularly painful, hard to accept, challenging to explain to others and seemingly impossible to overcome. 
 
We would like to talk about some of the unique aspects of bereavement by suicide to help those left behind as well as those who would like to provide them support. 
Last July, just as I’d pitched up a tent in a field in Cornwall, I got a devastating call from my mum’s friend to say that she’d started coughing up blood not long after we’d left home and had been taken by ambulance to hospital. She didn’t want to worry us. The next day, we learned she had terminal lung cancer that had spread. My stoic, stubborn mother told us to go and make memories with the children, and that I wasn’t allowed to visit anyway, due to Covid restrictions. I did as I was told in between floods of tears. 
Esther Rantzen - Living with Grief

It's not very often tv talks about grief so we're thrilled that Channel 5 have given Esther Rantzen the chance to explore the topic in this ground breaking documentary. 

One of the most painful of experiences when you’re grieving is having a disturbing image of your loved one’s final hours, days, or weeks etched on your mind that you keep flashing back to. 
 
If your relative or friend died from COVID-19, our hearts go out to you. You may have seen your relative in hospital via a video call from their hospital bed. Your last image may have been seeing them in the back of an ambulance with an oxygen mask on. Your mind may have made up its own image if you weren’t able to see them. 
Stuck on a painful lasting image
Whether it’s your first Christmas without a certain person or your fifth, whether you’ve experienced a significant loss in the past year or are sad to be spending the holidays alone – so many of us struggle at this time of year because our memories turn painful, certain songs or decorations trigger emotional reactions or we’re heartbroken that our relationships are not the way we wish they could be. 
 
Many of us find it difficult to enjoy the Christmas and New Year. What makes things all the more challenging is that we're expected to be in good spirits all of the time and that we see everyone else enjoying their Christmas holidays and thinking we should be able to do the same. 
Christmas when you're grieving
Men hear a lot of messages as they grow up that can inhibit their ability to grieve. Unhelpful phrases including, ‘man up,’ and ‘crying is for wimps/girls.’ Men have been told for generations that they’ve got to be strong. 
 
We want to enlighten you. 
Men and Grief
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