Posts tagged “children”

As a new academic year begins, you may find many children need extra support and encouragement as they try to recover from two academic years full of disruption and uncertainty. 
 
If you work with children in an educational setting, you know it’s not realistic to protect children from everything sad or frightening in life, and that with the right tools to deal with emotional pain and grief, children can be very resilient. 
 
We welcome a recent Sky News article highlighting the need for teachers to receive training for supporting studentswho have lost loved ones. 
The pain of losing a child cannot be described in words. It doesn’t matter if the child is still young, an adult, or still in the womb – a child is a part of us and the pain of losing that extraordinary person is incomprehensibly heartbreaking. The loss of a child creates a ripple effect that can touch the lives of relatives, friends, and the larger community. 
 
There are plenty of heartfelt stories, blogs, books and groups dedicated to people who have been bereaved by the loss of a child. In this article we are turning our focus to common misconceptions around child loss so that we can bring comfort and hope to those who are grieving. 
Loss of a child
In just a few weeks, mothers all over the UK will be receiving gifts from their children and partners to celebrate motherhood. We would like to look at the holiday from a less common perspective, acknowledging those who may be experiencing more painful emotions than happy ones on Mothering Sunday. 
 
Some of us may find this occasion difficult to celebrate because we have never been able to experience motherhood even though it has been one of our hopes and dreams. 
 
Others may struggle with this day because motherhood has not been everything they expected it to be. 
Mothering Sunday
Families are experiencing more emotional outbursts from children of all ages in Lockdown. If you want to take the intensity out of them, or try to limit them as much as possible, firstly you need to understand why they might be happening, and secondly read on to find out what you can do about them. 
 
Tantrums are a short-term energy releasing behaviour. Think of it as a boiling kettle letting off steam. The feeling of frustration and the inability to communicate their feelings – either because they don’t understand what they’re feeling but know they’re feeling something, or because they’re not being heard – must come out somewhere. 
What to do when your kids are clingy
As COVID-19 rattles on, we continue living our lives with a degree of uncertainty and not knowing how long it's going to go on for. This year you may have faced uncertainty over your job, finances, health, relationships, going on holiday, seeing family and friends, and now a new uncertainty over how we’re going to celebrate Christmas. 
 
Many of us aren’t equipped with the skills to manage uncertainty, especially over a sustained period. We have an inbuilt need for security. Uncertainty can leave us feeling out of control, anxious, directionless, drained, and wondering what tomorrow might bring. 
 
Uncertain times
Teaching children from an early age to deal with what life throws at them will only help their future emotional wellbeing. The first of six values in our Open Ears programme looks at being present. Being present helps children to develop good listening skills, including listening to themselves. Being present also helps them to reduce their stress levels, feel calmer and more centred, relaxed and more positive. 
Grieving the Living: Alzheimer's
Taking place 9th-15th October every year, Baby Loss Awareness Week aims to raise awareness about pregnancy and baby loss in the UK. Stigma and silence often mean families feel isolated in their grief. COVID-19 has made this worse. 
 
Today, guest blogger and Grief Recovery Specialist Detola Amure shares her story. 
Detola Amure Advanced Grief Recovery Specialist
Father’s Day can be a very triggering time for many of us especially if: 
 
your father has died, even if it was a long time ago 
the father of your children has died 
you didn’t get the chance to get to know your father and they were absent from your life 
you’re a father and your child has died 
you’re male and a child you conceived was never born, or was stillborn, or was born but lived for a short time 
you’ve experienced infertility and there’s never been a pregnancy, as we establish relationships to the child we want and have hopes and dreams about 
Father's Day is complicated
As Fathers’ Day approaches, it is quite common practice, especially in early education, to make Fathers’ Day cards and even gifts. Sadly, not all children have a dad around. Their dad may have died, and it could be their first Fathers’ Day without their dad. Their parents may have divorced, and their dad might have moved away and lost touch. They may be in foster care and not have built up enough of a relationship with their foster father to feel comfortable with giving a card. 
Father's Day without a dad
Have you ever heard the expression, “Little donkeys have big ears!”? 
 
We’re not for a moment comparing children to donkeys but the same principle applies! Children pick up and hear far more than we give them credit for. They hear snippets of adult conversations and can hear the news blaring from television sets and radios. They spent their last couple of weeks at school learning to wash their hands to funny songs because of ‘the virus’. Put it this way, it would have been hard to shield them from any kind of knowledge of the Coronavirus. 
Talking to Children about Coronavirus
In the wake of the terror attack in Manchester, which was even more horrifying as it seemed to target children, many parents are left lost as to what to say to their kids and how to say it. Parents left with a strong emotional reaction themselves, are having to do an emotional juggling act between the strong natural urge to protect their children and the need to not let the terrorists win. At Grief Recovery we know that the definition of grief sums this up: "Grief is the conflicting feelings following a change or end in a familiar pattern of behaviour." So having acknoweldged that what you and your kids is experiencing is grief here are some practical tips to help you address this. 
How to talk to kids about terror attacks
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