Posts tagged “How to help bereaved loved ones”

Do you have a grieving friend, but you don’t know what to say or do? A typical nervous reaction is to ask if they are ok. Relentlessly. And of course, they are not. As a friend, you can end up in a ‘no man’s land’ of wanting to help, show support, and that you care, but you don’t know how. And then you’re worried about disturbing their mourning. 
How to support a friend after loss
Let's review our 5-point-plan for leaving lockdown thusfar: 
 
4. Have an open heart 
 
Now that you’re well-placed to say everything that you want to say, listen with an open heart to what the people you care about have to say to you. 
Have an open heart
The Grief Recovery Method teaches us how to listen and comfort others without trying to fix, analyse or explain (or change the topic back to ourselves!). Instead, we use the image of being a “heart with ears” – offering our full presence and listening with care and patience. If, and when we do respond, we do so without offering judgement, analysis or criticism. Rather than telling someone we know “exactly how they feel,” we can instead acknowledge their feelings, such as “It sounds like you’ve really been through it.” 
Today we’re starting the journey of taking you through our Leaving Lockdown 5-Point Plan, starting with Acknowledge Everything. Has your standard response to ‘how are you feeling’ become ‘I’m fine’ when people ask, but underneath you’re thinking, ‘I’m anything but fine’? The likelihood is that you’re going through a whole raft of emotions right now, which change throughout the course of the day. There will be good days and bad days. 
Living Through Lockdown: Acknowledge everything
As we have all witnessed, COVID-19 doesn’t discriminate. Many of us have been touched directly or indirectly by this awful virus. We have seen with our own Prime Minister that this virus can strike anyone. Today’s post is about the process of getting your relationships in as good a place as possible, so that whatever happens, you feel at peace with your loved ones. 
 
We’ve come up with a 5-point plan that you can apply to any of your relationships: 
 
 
We will go through each point in detail, so you can apply the points to your relationships. 
Living Through Lockdown
To say that people are uncomfortable with emotions such as sadness, rage or fear – especially after a personal loss – is an understatement. 
 
Sit back for a moment and think about the times in your life when you were feeling sad and tried to talk about those feelings with others. On a few occasions your friend or family member may have simply listened without analysis, criticism or judgement. More often than not, however, you may have received one of the following responses:- 
How to Listen to a Griever
Many of us struggle to know what to say when someone has been bereaved, but at least with the card you’ve time to think about it so it’s easier right? Wrong! If you’ve ever sat with a blank card in front of you then you’ll know that actually the sight of that little white space can be quite daunting. 
 
Here’s my mini guide for How to write a sympathy card or similar. This article has now been turned into a leaflet - you can get free copies here
Grief in the Workplace
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