When you’ve experienced the death of your husband, wife, or partner, the lead-up to Valentine’s Day may cause you to want to hide undercover until it’s all over. Cupid’s arrow can turn and get you right in the heart when you’re grieving. For many, it is a particularly painful reminder, as it used to be a time to acknowledge and declare your love for each other, only now your significant other is no longer there. 
When you’ve experienced the death of your husband, wife, or partner, the lead-up to Valentine’s Day may cause you to want to hide undercover until it’s all over. Cupid’s arrow can turn and get you right in the heart when you’re grieving. For many, it is a particularly painful reminder, as it used to be a time to acknowledge and declare your love for each other, only now your significant other is no longer there. 
 
Love and grief both produce massive emotions. The pain of loss and the sense the pain will never go away is hard to take but you might not feel like you want to recover from the loss, as it might feel like you don’t love them anymore. We want to give you some hope. With our help, you don’t need to feel this bad, and you can carry on living your life without the pain of loss and hold on to the love you feel. 
 
You may well have heard lots of sentiments from well-meaning friends and family, such as ‘You’re young enough to start again,’ or ‘Isn’t it time you moved on?’ which can feel very thoughtless and hurtful, or ‘Be strong for the children, he/she wouldn’t want you to be sad or lonely’… and more, as an attempt to help you feel better. These platitudes can cause people who are grieving to feel angry enough to want to punch someone, or want to isolate and protect themselves, as they can make you feel like there’s something wrong with you. 
 
What’s holding you back from letting go of your pain? 
 
It’s realistic to say that you are likely to have been left with some unfinished emotional business. Even when you’ve had one of the best of romantic relationships, you’re likely to discover things you wish had been different, better, or more. You’re probably painfully aware of unrealised hopes, dreams, and expectations about the future, too. 
 
You might not want to "move on." 
 
If you were in a happy relationship with the love of your life and you’re devastated that it ended, staying attached to the other person – even in our mind – keeps them there a little bit longer. It would be far too painful to move on. Hanging on to what you have left feels better. 
 
You might have already tried to move on and failed. 
 
We’ve all heard about “rebound relationships” not working out, and unfortunately it is often the case. Jumping head-first into a new relationship immediately after another one has ended often results in taking unfinished business along with you into the next relationship. You may become involved with someone who isn’t compatible because you’re trying to replace the loss of your former partner. When these relationships dissolve, you’re hurt all over again – and the wound from the previous loss gets bigger and bigger. 
 
You simply don’t know how. 
 
You may be ready and willing to move on from your pain, but you honestly don’t know where to start. There are plenty of resources for attracting a new partner, but no one seems to tell you what to do when a relationship is lost. You’ve been trying to move on, but nothing seems to work. 
 
 
What can you do? 
1. Acknowledging how you’re feeling by talking to someone who will listen without judgement or interruption will help to take the sting out of your feelings. 
2. The Grief Recovery Handbook guides you to make the choices and take the actions that will help you achieve a sense of emotional completion. It will help eliminate the sense of pain and isolation you may be feeling as the result of the death of your spouse or partner. It will also help you be able to have fond memories and talk about the person you loved, without the fear of feeling more pain. You can get your copy here.  
3. If you need the support of one of our experts, we have a network of Grief Recovery Specialists around the country who can help you. Click here to find your nearest one or here to find support online. HERE 
Tagged as: Heartbreak
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