Counselling is a wonderful tool to help people discover why they feel a certain way and can help them reach an understanding of their feelings.  
 
However, it is our view that while an intellectual understanding takes us some way to feeling better, the human heart doesn't respond to intellect. 
 
While talking about how we feel can be cathartic, it can also leave us asking, "What's changed?". 
 
To heal hearts, we need to take actions that address our emotional wellbeing, rather than an intelectual approach. 
Employees who are grieving may be struggling to concentrate, they might be tired, listless, weary, or bereft. Their productivity levels may be significantly reduced at a cost to the business.  
 
The other concern is that they might be ‘keeping busy’ as a distraction from their feelings and throwing themselves into overdrive at work, which could lead to burnout. 
 
If your organisation doesn’t address grief, then you need to limit your expectations of your grieving colleagues by not assuming that they will be able to perform at the same level. 
Do you have a grieving friend, but you don’t know what to say or do? 
 
A typical nervous reaction is to ask if they are okay. Relentlessly. And of course, they are not. 
 
As a friend, you can end up in a ‘no man’s land’ of wanting to help, show support, and that you care, but you don’t know how. And then you’re worried about disturbing their mourning. 
 
Subsequently, you stop calling as much, things happen in your life, you’re busy. You think of them and want to share your news, but you stop. 
"I got lots of “encouraging" words from people which made sense intellectually, but my heart was still bleeding. I quickly learnt how to put on a brave face but inwards I was in severe pain and felt isolated in my pain." 
 
"I was in a very dark place and felt like I was going to drown in hopelessness." these are the words of Detola Amure after the death of her seven-month-old twin baby boy, Caleb. 
 
"I got lots of “encouraging" words from people which made sense intellectually, but my heart was still bleeding. I quickly learnt how to put on a brave face but inwards I was in severe pain and felt isolated in my pain." 
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