A Journey of Discovery is Different to a Journey of Recovery
Posted on 29th October 2021
Counselling is a wonderful tool to help people discover why they feel a certain way and can help them reach an understanding of their feelings.
However, it is our view that while an intellectual understanding takes us some way to feeling better, the human heart doesn't respond to intellect.
While talking about how we feel can be cathartic, it can also leave us asking, "What's changed?".
To heal hearts, we need to take actions that address our emotional wellbeing, rather than an intelectual approach.
Talking Helps, But Action Brings Change
As any coach will tell you, it’s actions that bring change. Just as talking about going to the gym doesn't get you fit, although it might get you into the right mindset - you need to do the exercises to get fit and to feel the benefits of being fitter.
The same is true for your emotional fitness. Talking and planning can get you in the right mindset but to see results you need to take the correct actions, that allow the release of the pain, the end to all those "I wish I'd said/not said, I wish I'd done/not done" thoughts that tend to keep grievers trapped on the mental hamster wheel of pain.
What Do We Mean By Recovery?
On occasion we have come across people who have resisted the idea of making a recovery from their grief. We understand if the word recovery may feel uncomfortable, as making a 'full recovery' could imply forgetting loved ones we have lost.
However, what we mean by recovery is the opposite to forgetting - it's following a set of incremental actions to lead grievers to a point of completion (not forgetting) with lost relationships.
Here's how we define recovery from grief.
Recovery is being able to enjoy fond memories without having them turn painful
Recovery is acknowledging that it is perfectly alright to feel sad from time to time
Recovery is being able to talk about your feelings
Recovery means acquiring the skills we need to enable us to deal with loss directly
Recovery is finding new meaning for living
Recovery is learning to love life again after loss
Grief Recovery Life Tools
Grief continues and changes for life. There are many things that will change the relationship we have with the losses we experience in life. A special date in the calendar perhaps, changes in a close relationship, or new information about a dead loved one, can all act as a trigger to bring back the pain of unresolved grief.
We don't think twice about the importance of learning vocational skills to enable us to function effectively in our professional lives, but we can neglect how to address our human need for emotional wellness.
At Grief UK we teach emotional literacy life skills, culminating in a personalised grief recovery action plan to give you the tools to:
a) Acknowledge the negative impact of unresolved grief and loss.
b) Be more aware of how unresolved grief affects your behaviour.
c) Prepare a step by step action plan to address your emotional needs.
By learning the right recovery tools you can resolve the emotional pain that results from unhealthy grieving, you can free yourself from the regret and pain of an 'unfinished relationship' - and be better equipped to find peace, to come to terms with life as is it is now and be ready to begin the next phase of a personally rewarding life.
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