"I got lots of “encouraging" words from people which made sense intellectually, but my heart was still bleeding. I quickly learnt how to put on a brave face but inwards I was in severe pain and felt isolated in my pain." 
 
"I was in a very dark place and felt like I was going to drown in hopelessness." these are the words of Detola Amure after the death of her seven-month-old twin baby boy, Caleb. 
 
"I got lots of “encouraging" words from people which made sense intellectually, but my heart was still bleeding. I quickly learnt how to put on a brave face but inwards I was in severe pain and felt isolated in my pain." 
This is the situation for many parents who have suffered the heart breaking loss of a child. In this article, we would like to provide some inspiration and hope. 
 
Common myths about the loss of a child 
The loss of a child is truly devastating, it is the worst thing that can ever happen to a parent. Well meaning loved ones do their best to provide comforting words, or try to help parents move on as they themselves continue with their own lives. 
 
However, it's an intellectual approach to recovery which creates common misconceptions around child loss - and leaves bereft parents like Detola feeling isolated and unable to let go of their pain. You can read more about Detola's grief journey in our article Carrying the Pain of Baby Loss. 
 
We appreciate people mean well, and the intention behind their comments is of course to provide sympathy, encouragement and support - but it's important to recognise that what is said can be influenced by some of the following common myths around baby loss, which can actually make things worse. 
 
"Be thankful you have other children." 
"You need to be strong." 
"Pain is the price of love." 
"You need to let grief run its course." 
"You will never be happy again after the loss of a child." 
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