Pet Loss

Why does it hurt so much? The loss of a pet, especially if you’ve had a close bond, can feel as devastating as losing a close relative or friend.

If you've lost a pet, chances are that you're grieving in silence. Without realising it, others can be extremely hurtful and unhelpful with their reactions, such as ‘It was only a cat,’ or ‘Are you going to get another dog?’. While others might not understand our pain, we often don’t know how to help ourselves, either. We may compare our loss to others and feel we don't have the right to grieve. Or we grieve alone because we fear ridicule, judgement or unsolicited advice from others. If your pet was your closest companion, the loss may be compounded by isolation and loneliness.

Different types of pet loss can cause grief

We want you to know that it’s okay to grieve the loss of an animal no matter how it happened – this may include:

animals that have had to be re-homed or given up for adoption due to family circumstances,

animals of friends, neighbours or relatives,

animals that were stolen or have run away from home

animals that have been diagnosed with a terminal illness or injury.

The loss may have resulted in changes in routine and the feeling that you have lost your sense of purpose or identity, or you may feel a sense of guilt for having your pet put to sleep, or feeling like you could have done more to help them, adding to your feelings of grief.

What you are feeling is a normal and natural reaction to loss. Your grief is real and is still felt at 100%. You need to be heard, not fixed.

Most of what we've been told about grief isn't true

It doesn't matter if you've lost a pet or a friend, all loss is felt at 100% intensity at the time of the loss. Unfortunately, the messages we've been given since childhood tell us that it's not okay to grieve.

Do any of these sound familiar?

"You can always get another dog/cat/hamster/bird, etc."

"Keep yourself busy so you don't have to think about it."

"Just give it time."

"What's the big deal? It was just a rabbit/horse/mouse, etc."

"You have to be strong so your kids don't get upset."

How many times have we received well-meaning comments like these in response to our grief? The intentions are good, but they don't help us feel better.

Different types of pet loss can cause grief

We want you to know that it’s okay to grieve the loss of an animal no matter how it happened – this may include:

animals that have had to be re-homed or given up for adoption due to family circumstances,

animals of friends, neighbours or relatives,

animals that were stolen or have run away from home

animals that have been diagnosed with a terminal illness or injury.

What you are feeling is a normal and natural reaction to loss. Your grief is real and is still felt at 100%. You need to be heard, not fixed.

Most of what we've been told about grief isn't true

Do any of these sound familiar?

"You can always get another dog/cat/hamster/bird, etc."

"Keep yourself busy so you don't have to think about it."

"Just give it time."

"What's the big deal? It was just a rabbit/horse/mouse, etc."

"You have to be strong so your kids don't get upset."

How many times have we received well-meaning comments like these in response to our grief? The intentions are good, but they don't help us feel better.

We'll teach you how to heal the pain of pet loss

Pet grievers can benefit from the Grief Recovery Method, a structured, evidence-based programme carried out by a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist to heal the pain of your broken heart. In a Pet Loss Support Group, you are safe to grieve your losses without fear of judgement or advice. You can learn the action steps needed to relieve the pain caused by the loss of your treasured companion. Once that happens, you will be much better able to enjoy the beautiful memories that you shared. You can relieve the pain so that you can live again.

We also have a dedicated book, the Grief Recovery Handbook for Pet Loss that is solely dedicated to the grief caused by the loss of an animal.